Sobin's Hand

The cold air of dawn hung over the kitchen. An Sobin stopped wiping the pot lid and pushed her stiffened hand back into her sleeve. Pain climbed up to her elbow, and she bit her lip to swallow a cry. When she sensed footsteps behind her, she forced her face smooth and bowed her head.

"Senior Cha, why has the disciplinary scribe come to the kitchen at such an early hour. I'll finish tidying up here, so please go back and rest."

Cha Yeonho didn't answer. He stared at the copper kettle on the table. Steam leaked out through the gaps in a long thin stream. His eyes lingered on the small drops of water clinging to the edge of An Sobin's sleeve, and on the tension pulling tight across her shoulders. He pressed at the joint of his left thumb and spoke quietly.

"That kettle needs to go to the settlement hall elder's quarters. His back pain has gotten worse since the settlement ceremony, so carrying it himself is a struggle. Sister, could you pour the water into that teacup now? Steadiness of the wrist matters most if we're to show proper respect to the settlement hall elder."

An Sobin reached for the cup and then hesitated. Her fingertips trembled, and the rim of the cup knocked against the tray with an ominous sound.

"Senior Cha, let me pour it. I can manage something this simple."

She gripped the kettle tightly with her trembling right hand. But her finger joints wouldn't hold their strength, and the kettle tipped to one side. Hot tea splashed up and soaked her sleeve. The kettle struck the corner of the table with a clatter. Even through the burning pain, she bit her lip to hold back a cry.

"I'm sorry. My hand just slipped for a moment. Senior Cha, I'm truly sorry."

She reached for the cloth, but her fingers wouldn't open, and it fell to the floor. Cha Yeonho picked up the cloth, set it on the table, and pushed back her sleeve. The bandage underneath was damp and stuck to her skin.

"Sister, let me see your hand. You didn't need to be scrubbing pot lids this morning. This water was just boiled. Did it burn you?"

"No, I'm really fine. I'm just clumsy, that's all this is."

"Let's go to the infirmary. Baek Miryeong should be waiting."

Cha Yeonho walked ahead. The air in the infirmary was cold. Baek Miryeong laid An Sobin's wet hand flat on the table. She took out silver needles and pressed carefully along the pressure points at the fingertips and wrist joints. Each time Baek Miryeong's fingers pressed on the pulse, An Sobin's breath caught and broke.

"The nerves are completely damaged. This isn't from the shock of the settlement ceremony. These are marks built up over at least several months of repeated backlash to the joints. Why did you hide this, An Sobin. This scar wasn't made at the settlement ceremony. It's from months ago, from the first time you touched the backlash stone, isn't it."

Baek Miryeong's cold voice filled the room. An Sobin kept her head down, tearing at her own thumb.

"I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. I was taught that this kind of pain is something you have to endure if you want to rise to full disciple. Senior, I was just afraid that if anyone found out I was hurt, they'd throw me out of here."

"That isn't teaching, that's neglect. Are you willing to ruin your own body just to hide someone else's disgrace? This record exists to save you, not to protect the sect's secrets. I saw that part of the backlash ledger in the archive had been scraped away with a blade. The key's been sealed by the sect leader's order, so as things stand, your injury will be logged as simple training carelessness."

Baek Miryeong laid out two sheets of paper. One was the treatment record, the other the public record for audit submission.

"What will you leave in the public record. Will you testify in detail, with the date and the cause of the pain, or will you seal the record out of consideration for your family's circumstances. The choice is yours."

An Sobin took up the brush with a trembling hand. Cha Yeonho waited at the door. An Sobin wrote her own name in the victim's signature line of the public record. For the date, she crossed out the day of the settlement ceremony and wrote instead the day, three months earlier, when the first pain had started.

"I'll go with this. Senior, more than proving whose fault my injury was, I want to record the structure that made me stay silent."

Choe Yul sat at the audit bench, reviewing the record. Beside him, the settlement hall elder sat with a crooked posture. The elder skimmed the record and snorted.

"You want to open the backlash ledger on the strength of one young trainee's pain record? This drags the sect's dignity through the mud. And what use is it, digging up a record that's already been erased?"

Cha Yeonho stayed silent. Choe Yul cleared his throat.

"According to the record, the timing of trainee An Sobin's injury lines up with the timing the medicinal herbs went missing. Elder, the damage to part of this record is a violation of sect code. Trainee An Sobin, please testify. On the day the pain began, who was managing the herbs."

An Sobin stood. Her hand shook, but her voice did not.

"Three months ago, the pain began the first time I handled the backlash stone in the transmission hall. At that time, my supervising instructor was the settlement hall elder. He was the one who handed me tea laced with the smell of medicine, and he was the one who told me to hide the pain. This is not simply my personal injury. It's a record of a holder of transmission rights using me as a shield to avoid responsibility."

The elder's face flushed red. He rose, slamming the table.

"How dare you sully your master's name!"

Do Gyeom kicked the door open. He reached for the elder's collar, then stopped and looked at Cha Yeonho. Fury burned in his eyes.

"Why are you stopping me, Senior. Do you doubt even this much of a fight from me? Do you think I need your help handling one old man? Senior, why are you so calm about this? Isn't it obvious whose doing it was that this record got erased?"

Cha Yeonho gripped Gyeom's shoulder.

"Gyeom, this isn't the time to push through with force. We need the record to prove it. Only then will this elder never again be able to erase his students' suffering."

Do Gyeom steadied his breath.

"Understood. But Senior, if that elder tries to snatch the ledger away, I'll break his arm myself. The backlash I took at the settlement ceremony, I'll answer for it myself. While you're behind me fretting over the ledger, I'll prove it with my own body. I'll collect, in person, the price of the backlash this elder has been hiding."

Do Gyeom pointed at the sealed backlash ledger on the table in front of the elder.

"Hand over the key. Let's find out today, right here, just how far the authority of an instructor who claims responsibility for his student's injury actually extends."

Cha Yeonho nodded to Choe Yul. The elder flinched and stepped back, but the enforcement disciples didn't clear a path for him. Do Gyeom's hand landed on the ledger. Choe Yul unfolded the documents.

"Today's audit will determine whether the settlement hall elder's transmission rights are to be revoked, and, following from that, the transfer of responsibility for the backlash. Sign here, Elder."

The elder looked out the window. Jin Mugyeol sat at the head seat with an indifferent expression. With a trembling hand, the elder pressed his seal onto the signature line. Cha Yeonho spoke.

"Elder, now that you've pressed your seal, open the ledger. We need to see with our own eyes whether the students' suffering weighs less than your authority."

Lips trembling, the elder held out the ledger.

"Is this the justice you people want? Trampling a master's authority while you cite sect code?"

Cha Yeonho took the ledger and opened to the first page. The marks of tampering were unmistakable.

"This isn't justice, Elder. It's responsibility. The price an instructor pays for turning away from a student's pain, that's something you will pay yourself now, not the sect's dignity."

Cha Yeonho patted An Sobin's shoulder and moved to stand beside Do Gyeom. On every damaged page of the ledger, the unrecorded injuries of students remained like stains. Cha Yeonho picked up a pen and began filling in the blanks. The first was An Sobin's name and her pain measurements. The elder tried to snatch the ledger away, but Do Gyeom knocked his hand aside.

"Beginning the review. The evidence is clear."

Do Gyeom stared down at the transmission rights seal sitting alone on the table. He picked it up, then flinched at its heaviness and let his hand drop.

"Senior, what is this thing, that it's so heavy."

Do Gyeom asked, pretending nothing was wrong as he wiped the seal on his sleeve.

"This isn't authority, Gyeom. It's the sect's debt. Don't try to carry this weight alone. From now on, we'll share the load."

Cha Yeonho laid his hand over the back of Do Gyeom's, holding the seal steady together. Beside them, An Sobin pulled the inkstone closer. When her hand began to tremble faintly again, she pressed down on her own wrist once, then took up the brush.

"Senior Cha, may I make more blank lines beside the names here? I want to record not just the number of times I felt the pain, but also what the elder said to me that day. If the record stays, then at least the sisters who come after me won't have to suffer through it alone the way I did."

When Cha Yeonho nodded, she pressed the tip of the brush to the paper without hesitation. Cha Yeonho turned to the next page. It marked the beginning of the responsibility the next generation of transmission rights holders would have to carry. Cha Yeonho bore down through the numbness in his left hand and tightened his grip on the pen. The elder's cries mixed with Choe Yul's written ruling.

Fuming, the elder rose from his seat and flung the transmission rights seal onto the table.

"Take it. My transmission rights end here. But do you really think the responsibility you'll carry will be lighter than mine was?"

Choe Yul had stepped toward the threshold, then stopped and turned back to face them.

"Scribe Cha, receiving the transmission rights seal is only the beginning. Bring restored copies of every ledger to the scribe's office by noon tomorrow. That will be the first evidence of the responsibility you've chosen to take."

When Choe Yul finished speaking, the air in the room drew taut. Do Gyeom, still holding the brush, looked at Yeonho and grinned.

"Senior, did you hear that. Sounds like neither of us is sleeping tonight."

Once the elder was gone, Jin Mugyeol straightened his seat and looked at Cha Yeonho and Do Gyeom. On the table lay the audit record, stating the principle that transmission rights and responsibility must be held together. Do Gyeom asked.

"What now, Senior. The ledger is open, so who's next?"

Cha Yeonho picked up the seal. Its cold metal texture mixed with the numb ache in his left hand. He closed the ledger and pressed the seal into Do Gyeom's hand.

"Next is us. Take this seal and check every ledger in the transmission hall. From here on, it's our turn to bear the responsibility."

Cha Yeonho looked toward the head seat where Jin Mugyeol sat. Jin Mugyeol said nothing, only gazed at the ledger. Cha Yeonho pressed the hand that had passed on the seal to his chest and bowed. The tension hadn't broken yet. Choe Yul gathered his papers and rose. As he passed by Cha Yeonho, he murmured.

"Scribe Cha, I'll deliver these documents to the sect leader myself tonight. Have the ledgers fully restored before then."